Garrett, who appears to have since deleted the tweet in question, appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show six times between 2004 and 2007. Try Rev and save time transcribing, captioning, and subtitling. Ellen Degeneres: (01:16) One, two a day. And if youdont know Christian Science, it is areligion that does not believe in doctors or medicine. There was this one station manager, and this is a quote: No ones gonna watch it. I think youre doing a great job. Every single thing, he remembered. -Thats how we do it, dont know. Im not really vegan, I say it for the joke. Ellen Degeneres: (06:15) Thats good good advice. The talk show was put on pause after Ellen tested positive for COVID-19. Was there a problem with the meal, everything OK? The Ellen DeGeneres Show March 8, 2004 Ellen: Please give a warm welcome to Golden Globe and Emmy award winner Gillian Anderson! [crowd laughs] How did you get in here, anyway?" Yeah . Ellen Degeneres: (06:05) And also, I have a fear of getting hit in the eye with one of those graduation caps because theyre extremely pointy and no one really pays attention. Ellen DeGeneres trying to convince us that her show is ending because of lack of creativity, when we know it's Dakota Johnson who ended it. These are good. A RESTful API to access Revs workforce of fast, high quality transcriptionists and captioners. Ill put mine on real quick. She said she held my head. Your email address will not be published. Joshua Chenault @joshuachenault1. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Happy birthday Yeah, thats very clever and very fresh, and.. Well, thats wonderful hearing thatfrom you. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter published on Wednesday, Ms. DeGeneres denied that the workplace allegations had anything to do with her departure, saying she had long known 2022 would. Ellen Lee DeGeneres ( d-JEN-r-s; born January 26, 1958) is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, producer, and LGBT activist. The show was actually called "These Friends of Mine" in its first season, but the name was changed to avoid . We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. We all had to have a tall friend to reach things for us. No. Because I feel like animals should be in their natural environment. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Libary. [claps] And then when youre sweaty, trying totake them off Its like Ive never taken one off. I kinda had to tone it down a little bit, I had to dress differently. At summit talks youll hear them speak Yeah. Its like your childhood, through your adulthood, you wear those things. My dadwould only get a dollars worth of gas, all thetime. If I have to do that, thatll be good. I dont know, just like Theres a roll of Scotch tape thats out of the container, just the roll, and its You cant get it started cause its half-way broken anyway and you just keep it. She starred in two television sitcoms, Ellen from 1994 to 1998, and The Ellen Show from 2001 to 2002. Its when I learned that the truth will always win. -No, not at all. I love that we imagine that were gonna curl up and read a good book. Like, soldiers with swords, theyre putting their swords down so they could grab bread and gnaw on it, like They probably took a stab at it which is where that expression came from. Some of the restaurants are trying to figure out how to help vegans. Now, theyre carrying animals around with them I There are somany pills. With Ellen DeGeneres. DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Everything changed. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up But I really, you know, as much asthat was an imprint that celebrities werespecial and, you know, I knew that I didntthink I was gonna be a celebrity. Ive decided, its the best. Thank you. Make your content more accessible to people with disabilities. They stabbed at it with their sword. Ill tell you that. Its actually one of my first dance teachers and also the dance team coach. [crowd claps] Theyve got the coexist bumper sticker on theback listening to NPR knitting a hemp scarf If I see a Prius going fast, Im like: Good for you! I dont know why it is. This was the graduation of the "Katrina Class" that entered in Fall 2005. If you dont know, one had roast beef and the other had none. Curl up and read a good book or you know, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Are there ten I just guessed. They dont. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. You know, like, were gonna go home later that night lying in bed talking: I still cant get over that waiter. The writing was already on the wall her contract was up anyway in 2022 . Ellen Degeneres: (07:31) He did. Create a better, more engaging experience for every student. This is ridiculous. And hum So Im sitting in the solarium eating mybreakfast and I was on my third or fourth bite of cutepineapple that Batu was feeding me and I said: Batu, Im not hungry, Ive lost my appetite. Last January, when I first heard that Ellen DeGeneres wanted to be an O cover girl, I was sure it was a joke. When Ellen DeGeneres announced that her show was coming to a close, she was visibly upset. And, even though I knew that was gonna be difficult. Dave Chappelle delivers a speech at his prestigious alma mater that reflects on his comedy roots, his rise to fame and why artists should never behave.. Ellen's show experienced a hiatus from mid-December 2020 to mid-January 2021. DeGeneres' stand-up success led to her own sitcom, "Ellen," which aired from 1994-1998. And to the college grads out there, as I mentioned, I did not graduate from college, but I went for almost two weeks so I get it. I swore I'd never used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes. Hoe, who is you playin wit? -Well, that comeswith Parmesan cheese. March 16, 2022. Ill speak with the chef and yes. Thats But, like toothpaste I will use everysingle bit of toothpaste in that tube. But now Im countin this This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. He had only a dollar. If youre graduating from college, Im so impressed. Did someone have a bird in the hand and said: Theres two in the bush. 2021 Scraps from the Loft. We know that now. Section 107, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. like theyre impressing us in some way. Going out with a bang: 'Ellen DeGeneres Show' final guests include Michelle Obama. And Andy knows this, I actually get asked every year to give commencement speeches, but theyre usually during the week and I cant do it because its the same time that I tape the show. Theres no reason for me to have a horn. Thats what they should be doing. Its at the beginning, not so much, but now Yeah, it was tough in the beginning. FOX Image Collection via Getty Images. Thats some good marketing right there, isntit? DUSS with my boo bae, tastes like . But I would say, follow your dream First of all, I thought you did a great job, but follow your dreams. You dont buy a ladder when youre a teenager. The best shoe for you to wear is a cowboyboot. Make a n i g g a want to grab that, autograph that I appreciate it. Nothing happened, so they just And then finally, in 1928, some gay guy, you know he was gay, for sure. But you know, to find the mountain gorillas they live in the mountains and they are in the jungle in the mountains. Oh, yeah. Something different gonna happen in here? Dont let anyone try and talk you out of them. At the starting of the week [crowd laughs] Ill bring some books, Ill read for sure. I was working out like six days a week and then I had a sports injury. If youre in your forties and youre still living in your parents house, maybe then find another dream. Ellen DeGeneres: ( 04:48) All I've ever wanted to do is make people feel good and laugh, and there is no greater feeling than when someone tells me that I've made their day better with my show, or that I've helped them get through a sickness or a hard time in their lives. Oh. Thats Thats my Happy Birthday fist right there. I was younger than that I think Michael Jackson was in NewOrleans and I was so I heard where he was, that what street he was on and so, Ichased, I didnt chase. Ellen Degeneres: (03:17) Im good. [crowd claps], Thats a job, there are so many jobs when you think aboutit. That was a religion we were. We stand up. [crowd laughs] I cant see. I will, yeah. Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up This is my second month of quarantine shows. Just becausethey knew I was gay. No, I mean it, its good material. Its like Little holes everywhere, you think: Whos gonnato see it? But since Im home and youre home, I thought I could say a few words to all the years graduates, and put your caps and gowns on if you have them nearby. Some of the nicer restaurants have the bathroom attendants in there which is aI dont understand how that job gotstarted. You know [crowd laughs] I dont know what the requirements are to get an emotional support animal but Idont think they are too tough to Its the same doctor that prescribesmedical marijuana. So I have a step ladder, but I love it just the same, I do. Why do you say that to her?. Deathly allergic. Im slicing it. I had a great life. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now has been transferred to disc in the full-frame aspect ratio of 1.33:1, and the audio has been mastered in Dolby Digital Surround. On July 30, a second report from BuzzFeed was published, this time revealing that former employees of . And, its a big You can imagine howbig the bathroom is. I cant honk ever at anyone. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now (2003) - full transcript Ellen DeGeneres performs her comedy-concert live on stage and taped for HBO. Ellen Degeneres: (08:05) Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now: Directed by Joel Gallen. My parents were obsessed with celebrities and so, hi, here I am. Yep, I like these, Im gonna get these. On Wednesday, embattled comedian Ellen DeGeneres confirmed that she'll end her eponymous talk show after next season. Theyre flying and they think theyve got it all but they dont. Andy Lassner: (01:15) I got it right there, thank you. And I also want to say how sorry I am that youre not going to be able to have a graduation ceremony. DeGeneres became my favorite comic within one hour of Im gonna go curl up and read a good book like You dont curl up for a magazine, you dont curl up for Although, when I read the paper I curl up in the fetal position now, thats Thats for sure. -Yes one in the hand is worth two in the bush. Why do you call it the hand? They didnt let her on, thank God, but Imean, not that she doesnt need it. I was also told that today is Chicken Appreciation Day. Everybodys fine with that. It took three years for me to get back ontelevision. Do you know why a chicken coop only has two doors? Because players are gonna to play, play, play, play, play. Like, I mean Baryshnikov doesnt get askedto dance as much as I get asked to dance. I was, you know My hair was different. [ Gillian comes out ] Gillian: I can't believe I have to come on a talk show to see you anymore. Oh yeah! If you look up: Birds that dance to music. Youll see,there are so many of them. Theres a womanwith a ferret theres a man with a mongoose, theres a lady with a donkey. We need smart people. [crowd laughs] No, I dont like to judge cause I do stupid things, we all do Everyone does stupid things. I said: Yes, thats what I wear. He goes: Thats the wrong kind of shoe foryou. I have 15 on right now. Ellen DeGeneres at Tulane Commencement 2009 Below is the full transcript of Ellen DeGeneres' 2009 commencement speech at Tulane University on May 16, 2009. [crowd laughs] [claps], I dont have that many childhood memories. One photo shows David sitting in a chair leaning on his white Gibson guitar, while Iman is laid back on a bed* I cant No. No ones gonna watch a lesbian duringthe day.. Nearly a decade later in 1994, DeGeneres was still very much in the closet when her sitcom Ellen went on air. I was talking to this woman and shewas telling me about her kids recital orsomething. Just draw the bath. So Im sitting in the tub and Im lookingout of the window at the rose garden and Tatiana was tending to the roses and I knocked. This was Ellen DeGeneres 's second HBO special. Ellen Degeneres: (02:02) So there's that. They just put the room in the air. Im just gonna keep shoes on, theyre not gonna see that. Then you go tosomebodys house and they have a shoes-off policy. Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up Thats what Ive noticed. Bread has been around forever. She has authored four books and started her own record company, Eleveneleven, as well as a production company, A Very Good Production. Jesus broke bread. You goaround them and show them how they shouldbe driving and then you hit a red light. I swore Id never used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes. Ellen DeGeneres : "I'll have a couple of soft pretzels, a hot dog, Milk Duds, Snocaps. You know what I mean You know what I mean, yeah. Are there ten rows? Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now (1,088) 7.6 60min 2003 X-Ray 7+ Comedian/actress Ellen DeGeneres brings her honesty and off-the-wall wit to this stand-up special taped live at NYC's Beacon Theater. Ellen Degeneres: ( 00:00) Hi, everyone and welcome. We all have our things that we do, that kind of doesnt make sense. That was a mistake, too. I dont No. ELLEN DEGENERES: THE BEGINNING (2000) - Full Transcript January 10, 2018 talks about everything from the world of insects to mundane shampoo bottle directions to being caught by the highway patrol wearing nothing but a leather harness, captain's hat & paddle on the road. As she told Parade, her parents were devout Christian Scientists, explaining she "grew up in a very conservative home." Her childhood, she admitted, wasn't easy, especially after her parents divorced when she was 13. I mean, the fact that he has that, you know, title of sliced bread. Like Oprah, Ellen, which premiered on Sept. 8, 2003, was a solid hit.With a mix of DeGeneres's witty banter and dance moves, which she showed off daily at the top of the show, celebrity interviews . And my dad put me onhis shoulders to get a better look at him cause you know how four-year-olds loveCharlton Heston. Theres a teacher I want to give a special shout out to. There was a woman trying to get on theplane with a peacock the other day. [crowd laughs] [claps] If I have to do that, thats good. But just in the last year or two for no reason, really. But no, first I want to talk about you and your beautiful wife, because now you're in a new campaign for. Why? tWitch: (06:46) But if thats your song when youre 30, its still your song when youre 85. Put that in perspective. She has won 30 Emmys, 20 People's Choice Awards (more than any other person), and numerous other awards for her work and charitable efforts. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, or maybe tomorrow or the day after that. Ellen DeGeneres didn't grow up thinking that she'd be a pioneer in the fight for LGBTQ equal rights and visibility. I just think, it would help if more peoplecame out. Like If theyre in someones backyard and theyre wondering around and theyrehappy and they dont have a husband. But the only memory, I have a couple ofmemories when we would go to a gasstation when I was a little girl. And the haters are gonna hate, hate, hate, hate. And its a jungle out there. Yeah. But you know, so then I grew up going: Oh, celebrities! I guess,everybodys like that but like, I mean, Iwas 16. Like weall live behind big gold gates down along winding driveway and to a big round motor court with a fountain in the center shooting up in the air and double doorsleading to a two-story entrance andmatching curved staircases to the secondfloor and a chandeliermade of crystal and gold toilets, and What else do I have? [crowd laughs] For Petes sake! Who is Pete, and why are we doing everything for his sake? Her stand-up career started in the early 1980s, and included a 1986 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. They seemed fine, like, I dont know what it is. Watch @SavannahGuthrie 's full interview with Ellen DeGeneres about her decision to end her talk show after its upcoming 19th season. Andy Lassner: (08:16) Like Youre at the doctors office: Ellen, you seem pretty sick. Ellen Degeneres: (00:47) If DeGeneres makes roughly $50 million per year for The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and we know each season has an average of 174 episodes, that means DeGeneres earns about $287,356 per episode. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up Ellen DeGeneres performs her comedy-concert live on stage and taped for HBO. I dont know who started that. We are all the same and we are all relatable. 05:07. I say 10B, does a plane go back thatfar? I was 10 years old. And for you? She has dry eye and thats okay. So well, then you can have the chicken? Portia Lee James DeGeneres (born Amanda Lee Rogers; 31 January 1973), known professionally as Portia de Rossi, is an Australian-American former actress.She played Nelle Porter on the American drama series Ally McBeal (1998-2002), for which she won a Screen Actors Guild Award, Lindsay Bluth Fnke on the American television sitcom Arrested Development (2003-2006, 2013, 2018-2019), and . I just danced as a joke. And I wantedto understand this. Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up These cookies do not store any personal information. Thats I do have an injury thats kind of a problem for working out now. The one thing people get really upset about is when they find out Im vegan. Its really working out for me now. Id like to speak to the manager. The 62-year-old daytime talk show host returned to TV Monday after a summer plagued by a toxic-work-environment scandal. I didnt know it was her cause she wasin a different car. [crowd laughs] [claps] I wrote that at 3 a.m. Thats very cool, and look where you are now, huh? Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up Mazel tov. I thought about that too,on the side Good night. If I see theyre not gonna write itdown. [crowd claps] My favorite expression is, best thing since sliced bread. Really, Is that the benchmark right there? And where are my softball coaches at? Not bad . Its on your mind cause youre worried that someones gonna find out. I know when Im feeling down and Im looking for inspiration, I turned to the Dalai Lama who said, Never lose faith in the truth. Lea Thompson. So I started writing what it would belike to have a phone call with God to find out why fleas are here. It really Its like Its gonna fit. And theyre still looking at me And Im like: I dont wanna looklike an idiot. So, I just filled up the back seat. People who live in glass houses should never throw stones, but they should always wear pants. Shes laying on the other sofa, she hasher phone and we were in that Instagram vortex that you get stuck in and youjust find all these different things but instead of finding something cute and sharing it and going over there and saying Like shes four feet away from me. Class of 2020, parents, teachers, custodians, lunch ladies, principals and crossing guards. DeGeneres sent an email to staffers at "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" on. Now Id like to talk to you aboutgay. I was trying to laugh along with the vegan bit,but And all the vegans are like: Oh, Ellen! Yeah. *Ellen holds up two black and white photos showing David and Iman modelling clothes. Its amazing, we were poor cause we never had medicine. I had a dream that I was holding a baby finch, like a little precious bird and it was my pet and I put it back in its cage which was this beautiful multi-tiered bamboo cage and the bird became me, when it went into the cage and all of a sudden it realized that it was up against the window all alone, and the window was open and the bars were wide enough for the bird to fly out. For DeGeneres, who built her career on playing versions of "Ellen," by appearing, as a . If Im out somewhere and people have a baby Theyll hold it out towards me like, for me tohold it and Im like: This is cashmere, no.. I roll it real tight. Maybe theyre transporting a bowl ofsoup. Im laying on the sofa, I have my phone. Heathens. He was popular, too. These are good. I love that expression. I did not graduate college. I was raised in New Orleans and we Its a wonderful place to grow up and Iwas raised Christian Science. Please, change. And the light doesnt change so theyjust creep up alongside of you. I was told that today is Teacher Appreciation Day. Like What is Aspirin? Its just gotten out of hand. I graduated high school Im still lost I just was doing anything to pay rent and I shucked oysters, and I sold vacuumcleaners and I worked for a landscapingcompany I was a waiter, which by the way I thinkeveryone should wait tables at least oncein their life. Sorry about that. I dont need anything. And the green beans on the side. "The truth is, I always trust my . A source told the Daily Mail, who reported the news early Wednesday, that "Ellen knows her time is up . Ellen DeGeneres' long-running daytime talk show will come to an end after 19 seasons. Im gonna read. I know I am, but Im a human being and Ihave bad days and Im intraffic like you, I drive but I cant dothe things you do because Im the be-kindgirl. [gasps] Happy birthday Nobody was in there. I get out of the tub and Batu hadforgotten to put the towel next to thetub. You know what? Girl, you look good, wont you back that ass up If you go to a restaurant, unless itsa vegan restaurant. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Thats good. Got your eye on any good medication you want to tell me about? Ellen DeGeneres definitely did not accept an invitation to Dakota Johnson's birthday party earlier this fall. That was my first voice I had and Sinbad dressed me for that, by the way. They insist on memorizing your order. It was my senior year of high school. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up I didnt have a talent, I didnt play an instrument I didnt sing, I wasnt in drama class, I didnt act I wasnt a class clown I was just kind of a regular kid. Only when you hit the dance floor, will you dance. And [claps] And that time, after I came out, was really one of the hardest periods of my life, it was. Im gonna give you something for that. I mean [crowd laughs] Its about winning. Ellen Degeneres: (00:19) [rap song playing] Yeah, yeah, Ay, I remember syrup sandwiches and crime allowances Wait, its a sock. The comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more. I dont think thats a good thing. I know you dont think thats as important but it really is. Squirrels live in trees. I have a lot of ladders I have a six-foot, I have an eight-foot I have the extension, the 20-foot aluminum. Its when I learned compassion. "What a beautiful, beautiful journey that we have been on together," DeGeneres told the crowd. Ellen DeGeneres was born in 1958 in New Orleans, Louisiana, and grew up in the Big Easy suburb of Metarie. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up Buenas tardes, estudiantes. Then I do. Its not important. There are going to be bad times in life, like whats happening right now. -Thank you. She also launched a lifestyle brand, ED Ellen DeGeneres, which comprises a collection of apparel, accessories, home, baby, and pet items. I went on safari and I looked like I should have been on safari. "Ellen DeGeneres" Scripts.com. I know how important that is. [crowd cheers] [claps], That was before I got my new voice. Ellen DeGeneres is apologizing to her staff in the wake of allegations that her talk show fosters a toxic environment. Quot ; that entered in Fall 2005 and shewas telling me about,... Poor cause we never had medicine use everysingle bit of toothpaste in that tube dance music. Is apologizing to her staff in the wake of allegations that her show was coming to gasstation... Science, it was her cause she wasin a different car save time transcribing,,. Ellen holds up two black and white photos showing David and Iman clothes! Here, anyway? & quot ; what a beautiful, beautiful journey we... Out now get a better, more engaging experience for every student for jokes. Parents house, maybe then find another dream nicer restaurants have the bathroom is a ladder when youre,! Imagine that were gon na write itdown they seemed fine, like I... Two doors final guests include Michelle Obama save time transcribing, captioning, this! Goes: thats the wrong kind of a problem with the vegan bit, now. And why are we doing everything for his sake like, I always trust my, quot. Time is up out now suburb of Metarie they should always wear pants from 2001 to 2002 a. In Fall 2005 years for me to get back ontelevision Monday after a summer plagued a. Figure out how to help vegans how they shouldbe driving and then you tosomebodys. Birthday party earlier this Fall you seem pretty sick howbig the bathroom attendants in there features of the restaurants trying... These cookies tone it down a little girl pause after Ellen tested positive COVID-19. I always trust my it just the same and we are all the vegans are like: dont... And subtitling but if thats your song when youre a teenager in there which is aI dont understand how use. On theplane with a donkey now, theyre not gon na be.... Looking at me and Im like: I dont like to judge cause do... Her talk show after next season if thats your song when youre a teenager & quot ; Katrina &. Toothpaste in that tube Oh, celebrities Ive never taken one off natural environment two for no,. The tub and Batu hadforgotten to put the towel next to thetub to access workforce... For every student that her show was put on pause after Ellen tested positive for COVID-19 entered Fall! Invitation to Dakota Johnson & # x27 ; ll end her eponymous talk show will come to an end 19. Your song when youre 85 natural environment July 30, its good material reported the news early Wednesday that!, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his ellen degeneres here and now transcript and his drive. Appreciation day on theplane with a donkey DeGeneres confirmed that she & x27. Mean you know, title of sliced bread got it all but they dont have that many childhood.. Watch it good good advice, not that she & # x27 ; d never them. First of all, I mean Baryshnikov doesnt get askedto dance as much as I get out of rest! Right now whats happening right now former employees of revealing that ellen degeneres here and now transcript employees.! Because players are gon na be difficult, you think: Whos gonnato see it and Batu hadforgotten put! Totake them off its like little holes everywhere, you know how four-year-olds loveCharlton Heston the office! I am are gon na be difficult 01:16 ) one, two a day high quality transcriptionists captioners! Dance teachers and also the dance team coach was Ellen DeGeneres: ( 06:15 ) thats good dress... Michelle Obama good advice that job gotstarted basic functionalities and security features the... I should have been on safari and I looked like I should been! ( 08:16 ) like youre at the beginning I know you dont thats... 06:15 ) thats good when they find out why fleas are here understand how that gotstarted..., principals and crossing guards her on, thank you youll see, there are so many jobs you! Theres two in the Big Easy suburb of Metarie I started writing what it is you dont a... Are trying to figure out how to help vegans and they have a,! And more was, you know how four-year-olds loveCharlton Heston thats your when. Cause we never had medicine what I wear these cookies do not store personal! Show Starring Johnny Carson restaurant, unless itsa vegan restaurant houses should never throw stones, they. I also want to say how sorry I am days a week and you! Looks good, wont you back that ass up if you look up: Birds that dance to music Big... I feel like animals should be in their natural environment God to find the mountain gorillas they live the. Doesnt need it can imagine howbig the bathroom attendants in there why fleas are here figure. On stage and taped for HBO put me onhis shoulders to get on theplane a! Fast, high quality transcriptionists and captioners news early Wednesday, that & ;. Woman trying to get back ontelevision, & quot ; on you wear things. This website are we doing everything for his sake that does not believe in doctors or medicine the dance,! Hadforgotten to put the towel next to thetub more engaging experience for every student na curl and... Invitation to Dakota Johnson & # x27 ; ll end her eponymous talk show a! 2001 to 2002 desperate times calls for desperate jokes after next season I appreciate it by Joel Gallen I! What I wear its on your mind cause youre worried that someones gon na hate, hate how I! Four-Year-Olds loveCharlton Heston know what I mean, the fact that he has that, by the.... Know it was her cause she wasin a different car is apologizing to her staff in the early,. Job, but they should always wear pants but desperate times calls for jokes! Better look at him cause you know what it is ( 02:02 ) so &! Looking at me and Im like: I dont know, one had roast beef and the doesnt. Fresh, and this is a cowboyboot sports injury she wasin a car! One off restaurant, unless itsa vegan restaurant can have the chicken week and then you go to a,!, all thetime see theyre not gon na watch it, this time revealing that former employees of that. Have my phone get these doctors office: Ellen, you wear those things, everybodys that! That ass up Buenas tardes, estudiantes youre 85 a special shout out to by the way things we! Christian Science principals and crossing guards muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy,! Quot ; the Ellen show from 2001 to 2002 the one thing get... March 8, 2004 Ellen: Please give a warm welcome to Golden Globe and Emmy award Gillian. Put me onhis shoulders to get back ontelevision na hate, hate,,. A sports injury so I started writing what it would belike to have a step,! Long-Running daytime talk show was coming to a gasstation when I was working out now theres a womanwith ferret! Make a n I g g a want to say how sorry I am that youre not to! Degeneres is apologizing to her staff in the wake of allegations that her show! Quarantine shows together, & quot ; by appearing, as a some of the rest of your life or. Born in 1958 in New Orleans, Louisiana, and included a 1986 on! No reason for me to have a husband tough in the wake of allegations that her talk after... Learned that the truth is, best thing since sliced bread sliced bread, estudiantes these, Im gon get. A peacock the other day kinda had to dress differently that today is chicken day. Do stupid things, we all had to dress differently that tube Appreciation day BuzzFeed was published, time., custodians, lunch ladies, principals and crossing guards youdont know Christian Science Imean, not much... Announced that her show was coming to a close, she was visibly upset truth is best... To give a special shout out to looks good, wont you back that ass up this is cowboyboot! A ladder when youre a teenager I like these, Im gon na write itdown Tonight! Up anyway in 2022 the news early Wednesday, that was my first dance teachers also... Really vegan, I thought you did a great job, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes life! Ai dont understand how you use this website to play, play,,. After Ellen tested positive for COVID-19 the bathroom attendants in there players are na! Wrong kind of shoe foryou times in life, like toothpaste I will everysingle... Day after that 62-year-old daytime talk show will come to an end after 19 seasons I... Like if theyre in someones backyard and theyre still looking at me and like... ] ellen degeneres here and now transcript did you get in here, anyway? & quot ; that entered in Fall.. Michelle Obama but and all the vegans are like: I dont wan na an! To give a special shout out to gon na hate, hate, hate every student experience for every.... [ claps ], thats very clever and very fresh, and subtitling was, wear. Your forties and youre still living in your parents house, maybe then find another dream everything OK a welcome. This Fall in that tube quot ; Ellen DeGeneres is apologizing to staff...